Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Man, jail baloney is awful.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
