He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I am mentally ready for anal.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
