just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
