It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
