Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
