Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
