I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
then he tried to convert me to islam
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
