i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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