I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So much rum. So many feels.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
