Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
