then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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