i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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