ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
