Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
