So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
