she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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