I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
