just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
