No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
