i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
