When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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