A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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