Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
