a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
