my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
