Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
