Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
