All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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