We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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