You made me cry and you don't even care
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
