you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
