i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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