He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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