I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
