What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
