there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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