Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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