now i know why i became what i already was.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
