I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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