I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
