i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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