You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
