Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
