He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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