It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Four minutes until I can fart!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
