The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
