Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's shark week go big or go home
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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