yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
