come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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