just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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