Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
