I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
